Matchweek 1: Norwich 0 – 3 Liverpool – Player Ratings

And we’re back! Football’s back! Fans are back! The f*cking reds are back!

Player Ratings

Alisson – 7
Comes out like Jesus, resurrected on the third day to keep a clean sheet. Chest out, bear paws swatting, big and beautiful, Alisson. Minus a point for nearly getting skinned the minute before though. 

TAA – 8
Looked like a player who knows he’s the best on the pitch. Calm, confident, resolute in defense, tits going forward. Complete performance.

Matip – 7
Criminally underrated. Still my favorite giraffe. Makes that run on the right wing. THAT run. I would have torn the walls down on my place had he scored that. 

Van Dijk – 7
I was less nervous sending off my first born off on his own for his first day of school. Thankfully, big Virg looked a lot more comfortable than he did the majority of pre-season. Long may it continue.

Tsimikas – 8
Well, well, well. Not too shabby. Busted a gut down the flank all day. Solid enough defensively, fantastic going forward. Can actually deliver a corner and caused problems, all night, with his delivery from the left. Hopefully this is the end of the “short corner.” 

Keita– 7
An absolute metronome on the day. Hendo like possession numbers. Was the standout of a mediocre midfield. Created constant problems with his passing through the middle of the park. Really promising performance off the back of a good preseason. 

Milner – 6
Provided some needed steel in the midfield. A bit reckless on the tackle at times, and some sloppy moments, turning it over in the middle of the park. 

Ox – 5
An absolute ghost for most of the day. Worse than a ghost when he managed to work his way into the play. Provided little defensively and was a turnover machine when in possession. Disappointing after having such a good pre-season.

Sadio – 7
Pretty grateful he didn’t look like Bambi on ice (like last season). Did a ton of the dirty work on the day. Looks fresh. The goals will come.

Jota – 7
Provided that direct attacking run from the center of the park. Typical Jota where he scuffs one in based primarily on speed and positioning. Has a bit of that Mo thing where the ball seems to velcro itself to ’em. 

Mo – 9
Vintage, immaculate, ground shakingly dynamic, Mo Salah. Involved in absolutely everything. Provided a constant threat over the top and hardly put a foot wrong all day. That final goal was a just reward for his dominating and selfless play up until that point.


Fab- 7
It’s like when you tell yourself you can go another 1,000 miles before an oil change, no problem. Only to get an oil change and realize how much smoother the car runs. Fab is the oil change, if you aren’t following. Anyways…

Firmino – 7
Bobby loves em a crowd and a goal in front of one. Best smile on the goddamn planet. Get in, Bobby.

Elliott – 6
There’s a quiet confidence and cheek to his game that seems far beyond his age. This kid is going to do big, big things. Rolled into that game and looked every bit the part.