Deep Dishing On Arne Slot
Domino’s Pizza tried to burn my house down the other day. That’s the crux of the situation. Similar in many ways to what Arne Slot has been accused of doing at and to Liverpool. Supporters (HA!!) are calling for his head and treating him like he already torched the team and its mystique.
Hardly true. Arne’s doing fine – or as well as can be reasonably expected. And I bet he wouldn’t leave an empty pizza box in the oven instead of putting it in the trash.
The trash WAS overflowing, and we have pets, which makes leaving food boxes around impossible. Add to that the 4°F temperature, and the box went back into the oven.
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The SAME OVEN that my partner started to pre-heat without looking inside.
Then the smoke arrived. Pretty quickly, I’m told. My only hint was a fire pit type of smell wafting to my office. Well, there was a lot more smoke, but no fire. She had quickly moved the flaming empty box to the sink and doused it completely.
So, no burned house, but a house that smells a bit like burning. Which brings us back to the realization that following a process can sometimes be a problem in itself.
One more pizza vignette…
When I started the order, I decided to use a coupon. That didn’t quite work out…it never does. Believe me when I say, “NEVER USE THE COUPON!!”
AMERICAN SCOUSER TAKES ANFIELD
As you probably know, Domino’s is pretty darn good at making a consistently mediocre pizza pie. It’s a known quantity. Their process is an assembly line. Not much can go wrong.
Conversely, not much can be expected to go exceptionally well.
In my case, I used the coupon, which meant backing out of the app and navigating back in. Coupons and free points – unless I’m missing the holy grail of Domino’s ordering technology – cannot be added AFTER you select your food…they must be used before you pick your meal.
There are a few issues with this.
The first is that I’ve been unable to get my favorites to jump in the cart when I use a coupon or points. That means I need to recreate my order, eliminating the usefulness of having a favorites list.
Second, some of the coupons and point levels seem to adjust the menu selections. The other day, I used some points, and the ability to get stuffed crust disappeared from the menu.
And third, when you use a coupon or points, you’re always being pressured to get a fourth or fifth pizza and a third platter of pasta. But I digress.
This relates to LFC and Arne Slot HOW?!!
Picture me as Arne Slot with hair. I’m tossed into a menu situation where everything is pretty well set. The sauces and toppings are set. The stuffed crust is complementary. Delivery fee is waived.
Nothing could be better…and this is just how Arne’s first season went. It all went to plan; followed the script; adhered to the cookbook; and didn’t go off the menu.
BETTER
This season is Arne Slot with a fistful of Domino’s coupons and no clear path back to deliciousness. I don’t want to fill you up with food-industry metaphors, but that’s just a taste.
Stay with me.
Now in 2026, we are staring backward at a LONG winless streak, a loss to Bournemouth, and people questioning if Arne should hit the bricks.
Sure, it’s a talking point, but the point we should be on is WHAT ARE WE DOING? We are Liverpool. We’re not Chelsea or Man United or any one of the other EPL clubs that spend more money on warm-up embroidery than they do on staff. Seriously, you’d think every gaffer had a stand-in role as Laverne on Laverne and Shirley.
And since we are NOT those other clubs, let’s put aside their mentality of revolving door coaches. If my math is right, we are only 1.5 seasons into Arne Slot’s administration. That’s precious little time to figure it all out.
Especially as players are focused on Jota, on greener pastures, on career goals, and on so many things that don’t spell out TEAM. I’m not saying the players or the staff or any of them are letting their minds wander…but they aren’t as focused as we’ve seen in the past.
In his second year, Slot shouldn’t be going anywhere. It’s not the game plan in my eyes; it’s motivation and fitness. Both are related, and both are first and foremost the responsibility of the player. They must have it in them before Arne can bring it out.
SHOP THE AMERICAN SCOUSER COLLECTION TODAY
When my wife and I calmly assessed the pizza box fire excitement, I started to understand some of what’s going on for LFC and Arne Slot. I’ll put it in words I think you can understand if you’ve made it this far.
Arne Slot walked into a Borough Market-level situation when he arrived. The choices were made for him; the tastes were divine and balanced and sating; and for dessert, he got a Premier League trophy in year one.
Then the menu changed. Players wanted more cheese. Some wanted to eat at different tables. And when Klopp left, nobody refilled the condiments or even left a binder with instructions. It was like trying to make a pizza without knowing how to stuff the crust.
Here we are now. It’s almost time for love and chocolate. We’re plenty of points down the table. And inexplicably, we are still vying for Champions League success this year and placement next year.
I think we need to step back. I think we need to order our favorites and not worry about coupons or points. And I think we should give a bald man a little more leeway.
He has a lot more on his plate than a stuffed-crust, Wisconsin Cheese pizza.