That’s right, I’m crafting this article in pencil and then mailing it to the editors at American Scouser. If you believe that, I’d like to trade you a guy named Thiago for a Haaland, a Foden, or even a Kane. As I remember it, Thiago had a season for the ages in ’23-’24. It was unclear if he’d run away with the Golden Boot, based on the early-season chatter. And the assists record was in jeopardy according to people. Seriously. Don’t check this out. It’s true. Believe me. And if somebody is really going to fact-check that, I double down and say that I also invented the pencil and Thiago is my twin. If you’re about to ask me if this is a thinly veiled poke at the June 2024 Presidential Debate, I’m not going to lie to you…it’s not.

READ MORE: A Premier League Yard Sale by Jeff Cutler
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OK, I lied to you, but the rest is more focused on football.

I’ll just say it. I believe football is a bit-part game for about 75% of the players. Sure, every single one of them could play us off the pitch without blinking. But the 3/4 of players who are just slotted in to play a role are vital.

Many teams can do without the stars if they have a solid game plan. It’s really as simple as that. You need athletes who can play roles to perfection – and in that, you create chances and wins.

Here’s the way I see it adding up.

Math is hard, and you should understand that Mo, Alisson, and Nunez aren’t throw-away players. But it’s very possible that LFC and many other sides could win matches without any of their marquee talent.

Can you imagine that? Don’t bother.

As this is tangent time – and not depression dungeon – let’s not talk about LFC losing any or all of the aforementioned players.

Why am I bringing this up? I’m in crisis. LFC is in crisis. The world is in crisis. Perhaps you saw some foreshadowing when I mentioned a lying marathon earlier. Yes, I’ll touch the outside shell of politics here, but most of this will be LFC- and football-related.

ASTV Shorts: A Stress-Free Euros

Here in the United States, we’ve got the Copa going right now. The Euros are underway and almost to the quarters. EPL teams are getting ready to do some player horse-trading. There are still Friendlies on the calendar. So what’s the crisis?

I’m afraid of the future – of LFC and the universe.

It’s not really that simple, as it’s not the future that scares me, it’s the stuff that happens in the future. If we had a time machine (as mentioned in prior columns) it would be a breeze. A quick trip ahead would assuage any fears that the planet was gone…unless it was gone.

Add to that the less important stuff – though it’s vital info for any Scouser.

Friendly results; transfers; Slot shots (photos of the new gaffer in the wild); and a whole new season on the way. I’m worried about it all. With a time machine, I could at least know what was coming.

I’m not going to talk politics, but I venture a whole lot of us will be joining our international friends if the election goes a certain way. On one hand, I’d be kinda happy to move overseas and have the opportunity to go to almost any city and see a professional match.

On another tangent, but you guys over there have it really good.

Look at the schedule of matches in Europe and specifically the English leagues. Then throw a dart or make a fun choice of a side to go see.

Pick something fun like Norwich and Southampton, then hop on the train and go see a genuine match. Because it costs so little to see lower league matches, you could do this all season long and create your season ticket plan.

OMG, this is genius. Somebody should create a ‘Season Ticket’ package that gives you two home matches at every stadium. I think the math works out where you would get to see every team in a home and in an away match.

This is a really good idea. Somebody should run with this. Please let this column serve as proof that I thought up this great idea. As this is AmericanScouser, I agree to share the profits from this idea with every subscriber to the podcasts and

Where LFC sits on election day – November 5, 2024 – is probably going to determine where the rest of the campaign ends up. We’ve got to have a handle by that point on where people are playing, and who we can depend on, and we should have a keen sense of what combination of players will work for the long haul.

It’s hard. That’s even more of the crises I spoke of. Can this be done? Was Klopp the only one who could do it? Is Slot going to slot in perfectly? And the biggest question we can ask is if Gareth Southgate is going to cause TAA to implode mentally.

With all that uncertainty in mind, I’m wrapping this up with – yes, another tangential series of thoughts.

Oh, my kingdom for the ruling on 115 charges sometime soon. Maybe we can convince Klopp to come back for the multiple celebrations and bus parades.

I’ve just jumped back into watching the Tour de France and I started my process this year by watching the Lance Armstrong series (2 episodes) on Netflix. It got me hooked again on the Tour AND AND AND it got me freaked out that European football players MIGHT be taking performance-enhancing materials. Are they? I don’t know. Do I want to know? Gah!

Are there really going to be CLEAR and SIMPLE communications taking place on VAR this season for fans to listen to? Or, let’s not be paranoid, have the VAR refs spent time in a sound booth recording multiple scenarios that they plan to share during matches?

How big is the draw to the Saudi league now for players who have watched their friends and teammates over there?

What regulatory body ensures the food at all the football grounds is interesting, tasty, and safe? And if there isn’t one umbrella organization that does this, why not?


If you get caught using performance-enhancing drugs and they don’t improve your performance, can you get a do-over?

And, politics for the last time – NOT LYING – if the former guy gets into office again, how long will it take for him to roll back the equal pay for women’s football players?

Happy Summer! Breathe easy now because I think this is the year anyone in this year’s top 7 could take the league. (As long as a light blue scourge gets a few point deductions SOON.)

Lastly, if this disjointed diatribe was exactly what you were looking for, share your comments below. Thanks for reading and keeping up.


Floppy disks to entering in code on a Spectrum 48K… Clearly not a lot going on in the transfer market for Liverpool at the moment
  1. Floppy Disk
  2. What's Next?
  3. What Would Klopp Do?
  4. July 1st Fireworks
  5. The C Word