CHAMPIONS LEAGUE ROUND OF 16: Liverpool 2 – 0 Leipzig (4-0) – Player Ratings

Behold the glory of goals scored by our actual front three in an actual match! Our best midfielders playing in their proper positions! Clean sheets with actual centerbacks. I proudly present you, resurrected from the gutter, ye olde player ratings!


Alisson– 7
Big stop early and then settled for a relatively uneventful rest of the night. Just how we like it.

TAA – 7
Sat further back, similar to first leg. Still managed to create and was improved defensively. Despite being targeted much of the match.

Nat Phillips – 8
70% of the Earth is covered by water. The rest by Jor…. errr Nat’s head. Imagine if he had a dome the size of Harry Maguire’s! Yikes! 

Kabak – 7
Quietly settling. Let Nat do his dirtiest and cleaned up what was left.

Robbo – 6
Has lost his first touch and apparently hates the high line as much as I do, right now. Did that thing where he played everyone onside for the first 30 minutes. 

Fab – 9
Honestly can’t remember being so relieved at seeing a lineup card as I was for this one. Back where he belongs and HEY! Midfield looks boss again. Fecking imagine that! Was an absolute colossal, breaking up play and jump starting the attack.

Gini – 7
82 minutes of smiling and looking affectionately over at Fab. Back in the groove.

Thiago – 7
Likely is best game in as a Red. Likely not a coincidence it’s with Fab back. Stole that ace kung-fu pass from Bobby though. Nothing gets by me, T-money.

Mo – 8
Again our biggest threat going forward. Misses and misses and misses until he doesn’t and hopefully that’s the injection of confidence he needs to kick off. 

Mane – 7
Helps set up the first with a lovely, outside of the foot pass and puts away the second. Looked rested.

Jota – 7
Like Mo, missed several key chances but put an ace pass in for the breakthrough goal. Off the ball movement was excellent and had impressive chemistry with the rest of the front three. 


Origi – 8 (‘71)
Divock’s that fecker that looks really invested in the group project when the teacher’s watching.

Keita – 7 (‘72)
Yeah. I quite enjoyed that. So did he. Created more chances in 18 minutes than the entire Leipzig squad? Is that stat right?

Milner / Tsmikas / Ox – (N/A)

Who do you think is more annoyed by this weird thing Klopp does with the ridiculous, last minute subs? Them or us? Probably, Buvac.