Matchweek 30 – Everton 0, Liverpool 0: Match Ratings

Alisson – 8

Nothing to do until an avalanche of subs. Then 80 mins in proves why he’s the best stopper in the world. Two massive stops with those big ol’ brazilian paws on Calvert-Lewin and Richarlison. Beard remains massively kissable. Feck.

TAA – 4.5

Fumbled away possession seconds in and it never got any better really. Showed for service but struggled in possession, crosses were shite, missed routine passes. Might be his worst performance in a red shirt. Less than ideal with Robertson out. More rust than the underside of my 95 Taurus LX. And that’s gone through twenty Michigan winters.

Matip – 6.5

Nothing like recovering from an injury by picking up another one, eh Joel? Ah well, people wanted to bitch about Lovren anyways. Looked ace going forward and especially good in distribution out of the back before going down.

Van Dijk – 8

He’s a Rolls Royce. A Rolls Royce that can ping an inswinger 40 yards up the line to an onrushing left back just for fun…

Milner – 5.5

Hate to say it. Looked his age. Half point bonus for twatting Richarlison before going off injured.

Keita – 8

I’ll take more of that, Naby, lad. Bright going forward, played a couple of lovely one-two’s… one of the few bright spots going forward. Did all the things.

Fabinho – 6

Tried his best to put Richarlison in on goal but the latter was too busy doing his center-back power rankings to be bothered. Improved a bit as the game went on but far below his usual output.

Henderson – 7

Liverpool was at their most threatening towards the end of the first half win everything was running through him. Masterfully pulled the strings through the first half, quickly switching fields with long accurate diagonals and breaking lines with some crisp through balls. Less involved as tactics changed second half. Of the lads, looked the closest to midseason form.

Mane – 7

Fecked off the kneel and started before anyone else. Once the whistle blew, he was one of our livelier options going forward. Did things that will keep Seamus Coleman up tonight, but just couldn’t get it to fall for him.

Firmino – 6

Did all those things that make him unique; pressed, dropped back and broke up play in the mids, remained the focal point in link-up play. Great little chest trap on the one-two to set up Naby. Shooting boots a bit dusty still as he screwed wide one of the better chances of the game.

Minamino – 7.5

Loved the work rate. Thought he and Naby really were carrying the offense through the first half and he looked the part. Hard done to be subbed.

THE SUBS

Gomez – 6.5

Looked pretty sharp when he came on. A bit all over the place, positionally. Didn’t give much going forward but good defensively, limited mistakes, and crisp in distribution. Got the slightest of butt cheeks to Davies late 2nd half, goal-bound strike.

Ox – 5

Appreciated the work rate. And the fact he wasn’t dancing on marble stairs in socks with some total smoke show. But that’s it if I’m being honest.

Gini – 4.5

Speaking of honesty. Honestly, almost stabbed my tele when Gini seemed hell-bent on tee’ing the ball up on the half for counter after dangerous Everton counter.

Origi – 5

What’d he touch it like twice? Once when he got a throw-in taken off him by Gomez. I don’t know…

Lovren – 5

Probably gets more shade than he deserves. Certainly didn’t help himself out today though did he? ‘Kin’ell…

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