Keepsake Or Crap? What Are You Buying?
We all know that gift-giving can be difficult sometimes. To properly choose a meaningful gift, you should probably know something about the recipient. You might do well to tailor the purchase to their phase in life.
Phases are different times in our lives where our tastes evolve. It’s an ongoing process, and I’m not sure you can stop it. I’m not sure you’d want to. As our appreciation for some things grows, our disdain for others does the same…so there’s some sort of balance.
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Additionally, these phases are different for everyone, with some similarities. For example, did you have a food thing when you were a kid? Or a tactile thing? Or a noise thing?
Food thing: Where you will only eat pizza with the cheese scraped off. Or you only eat Chicken McNuggets shaped like animals. Or the famous “my sandwich needs to be redesigned by a bread architect, or I won’t eat it!!!” situation.
It boggles my mind that no mass market bakery has come out with a loaf of bread without crust, or a loaf that’s pre-cut into geometric shapes.
Tactile thing: Where pretty much anything bigger than an atom can be an irritant to your skin, your comfort, your whole way of life. And you know that wool is the worst and grandmothers are the worst offenders when it comes to punishing their offspring with scratchy, weaponized sweaters and hats.
Noise thing: We all know this one. Your crunching is bothersome. Your odd sounds are frightening, and your breathing is just annoying.
Anyway….I have friends who have only had fast food in their adulthood. I have friends at age 35 who have never eaten a beet! And don’t get me started on the people in my circle still excited about that new Cosmopolitan drink they saw on Sex and the City.
BACK TO THE POINT……
As phases inform our choices for food, wardrobe, and partners, they also inform the accessories we’re willing to purchase. Especially the accessories and souvenirs from our favorite football club…LFC.
Bearing that in mind, I’ve created a few categories of keepsakes. Within these categories, I’ll touch on the longevity, social value, financial value, and quality of certain items. Lastly, I’ll share a glimpse into my favorite collectable and why.
Keepsake Categories of Football Souvenirs
Kit is the King
It has to be true that an LFC jersey sits as the holy grail of gear. The kits are special because they’re often tied to memorable campaigns and moments. And they can be personalized completely.
Leave the jersey blank except for the crest and sponsor, or adorn it with your favorite player’s number, cup patches, a poppy, or some more sponsors.
Don’t forget about the retro jersey craze, where you can gather gear from any era and from any LFC player. In fact, there are plenty of people in my small circle who could wear a different kit every day for a month without wearing one twice.
I think a friend of mine – sadly, a Tottenham fan – could probably wear football jerseys every match day for an entire season without a duplicate. I do remind him from time to time that no jerseys can replace a trophy.
Moving on…with the kit as the top desired souvenir, what’s next?
Coming in RIGHT BEHIND jerseys are scarves. I believe the volume of scarves sold could even beat jersey sales, but the kit is more important and socially revered than the scarf.
Scarves are the Multitool of Football Accessories
The first LFC scarf I got was for the supporters club in Boston. I then started to collect scarves slowly, mostly because some of the designs were so cool. I also found that scarves were event-based in a way that jerseys weren’t.
For example, derbies often have a scarf created for that single match. It’s sometimes a split design with each team. Sometimes it’s a commercial co-branding scarf. Once you have one of these, it’s only something you break out at a similar event in the future. The rest of the time, it hangs on the wall.
Which brings me to how you can use a scarf – and which ones are best for what use.
We talked earlier about tactile issues – I have those. I. WILL. NOT. WEAR. WOOL. So if there’s a wool scarf that’s super cool and limited, I might buy it for the wall without ever putting it on.
Then we get to the always sensitive issue of length. When is it long enough? When is it too short? Is there a perfect length? All these questions were given to my intern, who was unable to answer them without having a laughing fit and turning red.
So, I don’t have answers for those questions, but one factor is your wardrobe and your neck size. If you’re a wiry person with a slight neck, any length scarf should work. If you’re more husky or big-boned, you might not be able to wear the scarf properly.
OMG, what’s properly? According to Adam Zand, an LFC Boston member and fashion icon, the scarf should be doubled up (ie: folded in half) and then laid over the back of your neck with a loop in one hand and the fringe end in the other. Insert fringe into the loop, pull snug without strangling yourself. Stride into the pub confidently with LFC colors displayed proudly.
The other way is to just hang onto it and use it in myriad ways. Wrap it around your neck without doubling up or using fashion. Wave it in the air to celebrate anything and everything. Hold it up like a banner and sway back and forth with it during songs and chants.
There’s really no wrong way to use a scarf. And there seem to be endless colors and designs. Oh, the big thing about scarves is that they COST about a fifth of a replica jersey while still garnering attention and praise.
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Other scarf uses…cleaning up pub spills; using as a seat cushion when sitting for a whole matchday; keeping yourself warm (a scarf CAN be worn as a face covering); and more.
Circling back to the original question of consumerism and what to buy, there are a few more items that are desirable for most fans. Then there’s the crap. I had hoped to name this column Souvenir or Shit, but somebody further up the food chain decided to soften the title. C’est la vie.
These last few items are really take them or leave them. In no particular order, I think it wouldn’t hurt an LFC supporter to have a few of these around the house.
Pajamas; hoodies; an LFC flag; trading cards; coffee table book; bobble heads; phone case; sneakers; license plate frame & car decals; photos and signed memorabilia; and tattoos.
Beyond that, I think you should use your money to spend as much time as possible with other fans, supporting your local club and pub, and ensuring that you’ve got access to all the matches, including cups and other league games.
Take it from me, it’s cool to have the gear, but it’s better to have the community. We’re lucky as Scousers to have both!
#YNWA