Matchweek 14: Everton 1 – 4 Liverpool – Player Ratings

That’s the most gutted I’ve been about losing a clean sheet in ages. I wanted a 6-0 waterboarding. Everton deserved it, and we were good enough to give it. But we take a 4 goal drubbing and keep moving.


Alisson – 7
Fairly uneventful evening aside from the one break through that sent Gray in on goal. Helluva job booting plastic bottles off the pitch all evening. That new brazilian goalkeeping coach is working wonders already eh?

Trent – 8
Was up for it on the night. Virtually unplayable when he’s combining with Hendo & Mo up the right like that. Put in a shift defensively as well. 

Matip – 7
Let himself (and everyone) down with that early missed sitter. Should be scoring that. Every time. Caught back, keeping Gray onside for the goal but I suspect Van Dijk did him a little dirty not closing down Richarlison in the buildup. 

Van Dijk – 7
They put three men on him on corners and he still caused problems. I converted to Catholicism for about 30 seconds prior to him taking a free kick. That would have been divine retribution had he beat Pickford and that creepy haircut. 

Robbo – 8
The renaissance continues. Back to his fist pumping, banshee screaming, bloody nosed best. Playing touchline to touchline and nobody down that left side had a moments peace. Beautiful chaos. 

Henderson – 9
On a team full of underrated stars. None carries that more so than Henderson. We talk about the movement, the leadership, the way the ball rotates differently through the side when he’s on the pitch. But his technical ability is elite. Like, the majority of strikers couldn’t hit a ball like that with their weak foot. The composure and precision to hit it like that… just… wow. Minutes later he sends Mo in on goal with an equally impressive pass. He was massive on the night.

Fabinho – 9
Stands like a majestic lighthouse on a rocky crag. Everton didn’t know what to do. Couldn’t get through him, around him and couldn’t take anything off him. This team will go down in the history books and Fabinho will be one of the less talked about but arguably most important piece of the puzzle. 

Thiago – 8
He’s an artist ya know? Just pings it around the pitch and drops it wherever he pleases. Standard yellow for being too close to Allan.

Mane – 7
Set the tone early but causing enough problems to begin what was essentially a 90 minute running feud between Coleman & Pickford. Straddled the line between amazing and shite like he’s so often done this year. Was dangerous on the counter all night.

Jota – 9
The goal was special. Drags it through his own legs, half turn and then skies it into the roof of the near post. And he made it look easy. For me, his work rate was also special. Won all the second balls, came deep into the mids, just constantly making life hard for Everton to get out of the back. 

Salah – 9
Majestic Mo’ fucking Salah. He’s unplayable right now. Creates for others, scores for fun and creates his own goals from terrified 30 year old irish internationals who can’t decide whether they have time to settle it or pass it first time. For real though. A bit worried about Coleman’s mental health this morning.


Milner – 6 (‘74)
Hardest substitute of all time. A bit like calling for backup in a fight you’re already winning only for your opponent to find out that backup is Chuck Norris.

Ox – N/A (‘82)

“Great opportunity for Ox”

Minamino – N/A (‘88)