The 234th Merseyside Derby
Woody — This fixture is an emotional one for your humble correspondents. Thanks to the generous folks at Carlsberg, AJ Hudson’s, Roy Yates and our love for beer we were sent to the original “Divock Origi game.” It was quite a trip.
Jason – Yes indeed. It was a pilgrimage for the 232nd Merseyside Derby. I explained to Woody’s brother (Thomas) about the Derby and some of the past “famous Derbies” to which he said “maybe we will see a Famous Derby today…?” After the final whistle sounded and we were enjoying the insanity of The Kop (section 109) I said to Thomas “You’ve just seen the most Famous Derby ever.” I stand by that statement. We then proceeded out to various pubs in Liverpool until the wee hours (shout out to Ye Hole in Ye Wall). Onto the ratings…
Adrian – 7
Woody – 7 — The Spaniard is a capable backup, a brilliant signing, and by all accounts a good guy. Let’s hope next time we see him it’s in The Railway Pub.
Jason – 7 – Ah yes The Railway… fantastic place. Adrian would be a fine drinking buddy there. Yesterday he was competent – that first Everton goal he could have done better but the second was a good one by the Blues. A fine back-up keeper. 7 might be generous but tis the Season. Oh and “Merry Christmas Everton!”
Trent – 8
W – 8 – Virgil yelled at him a lot, so he wasn’t perfect. Maybe he could have closed down the cross for their 2nd. But um, his passing?!! The long ping to Mane led to what I called the best team goal we’ll see this year. Then he took off on a 60 yard run to set up Mane with a layoff that Iniesta would be proud of. Also he stared down Richarlison, who might be a pretty dangerous dude. Then again Virgil was nearby.
J – 8 – Really exceptional passes, the run and pass to Mane for the 4th goal was simply lovely. Truly a fantastic play from start to finish. Trent was sound defensively and like any good Scouser Red, picked up a Yellow.
Dejan – 8.25
W – 8 – Excellent. Again. He could have gotten a boot on the ball to prevent Richarlison’s header, but he was otherwise great. And he went Warren Moon style to big Div.
J -8.5 – Honestly, how good has Degsey looked lately? Truly a Colossus in his own right. His pass to Big Div for Number 3 was delicious. Defensively stout. BTW: Merry Christmas Everton!
VVD – 8
W – 8 – It seems weird to give such high marks to both centre backs when you concede 2, but that’s how it is. Virg was great as always.
J – 8 – Was second fiddle to Degsey… yes I just said that. Second time VVD has been second to someone this week… wild. Was classic VVD which means a baseline 8.
Robertson – 7.5
W – 7 – In this alleged 4-3-2-1 he is not quite as involved in the attack. But he was good. If I was not a Liverpool supporter I’d have problems with some of his shithousery. But I am a Liverpool supporter, so that laugh at Davies after shoving his face in the dirt was pretty funny.
J – 8- I love Robbo. He’s the kind of guy you love on your team because you know everyone else simply hates the guy. Was flying up the pitch and kept things open and lively. If Robbo wasn’t a Red we’d probably want to call him a rainhumping fishbreather but we don’t have to make that choice. He’s brilliant and I’d rate him as a guy who might get you into a fight (and then make sure Milly was close by)
Lallana – 7
W – 6 – feeling generous. Klopp loves to reward good training, but this experimental love needs to end.
J – 8- Woody rates him low. I was a tad surprised to see him starting yesterday (really felt that way for most of the midfield) Adam was solid most of the game. Had one craptastic give away but otherwise did his part. I suspect Woody is secretly jealous of Adam’s relationship with Hendo
Gini – 8
W – 8 – He did some ball winning and possession Gini things, which were good for a 7. Then he scored.
J – 8 – Gini was Gini. Kept things under control. Nice goal at the end just to remind Everton “Merry Christmas!”
Milner – 7.5
W – 7 – We thought he started well, disappeared a bit, and then came on after halftime when we decided to do a bit of seeing it out. James Milner tackles your lad.
J – 8 – puts on his work boots, heads down into the mine and does his thing. You know… his thing which is uber competence couple with indefatigable effort. Really a pain in Everton’s arse and everywhere else. Get him a contract for Christmas (BTW Merry Christmas Everton)
Shaqiri – 8.25
W – 8 – While playing cheeky little turns all over the pitch, he also provided a real threat and a great finish. With all the games upcoming, I look forward to watching more Alpine Messi.
J – 8.5 – you could tell he grabbed this chance with both hands and did not give up until the end. Great score from him off Sadio’s assist.
Origi – 9.125
W – 9 – Against Everton and Barcelona, his lifetime rating on a scale of 1-10 is about 15,000.
J – 9.25 – I mean he must be in the nightmares of every Everton supporter worldwide. Getting the start was a nice touch. Really looked good through. Great touch for the second goal. As Robbo says “Divock Origi.. WHAT. A. Man” Would have been my MOTM but….
Mane – 9.25 Man of the Match
W – 9 – Yes he should have scored two more late. However, his goal was pure class and his assists were even better. It was like he decided to just get some new lads involved. Both passes were sick but the weight on the one to Origi is genius level.
J – 9.5 – Best in the world right now. Unbelievable match yesterday. Assists, goal, defense, creativity, pace, unbelievable. I am using unbelievable here in honor of Arlo White (if you know why, you know).
W – n/a –
J – 7 for Hendo. Did exactly what we knew he’d do.
Firmino – 8
W – 8 –
Our number nine,
We bring him on 18 minutes from time,
He will find Wijnaldum for the score.
J – 8 – I like Woody’s creative license. Can you imagine how mentally devastating for the Blues to see him coming on as a fresh legged sub?
Merry Christmas Everton!