Water You Doing?

I love breakfast. I try to eat out frequently. Over my lifetime, I’ve eaten at probably 300 or more different breakfast restaurants. Maybe my next column will list every meal and venue…but for now, let me get good and angry at clueless football fans. Be assured, I’m not talking about LFC fans. As Scousers, we know the importance of parity, fairness, and doing the right thing. Today I’m talking about the low-life supporters of other clubs, or even plastic and seasonal fans, who are ruining breakfast for all of us.

READ MORE: Ribbon Candy by Jeff Cutler
SUBSCRIBE & FOLLOW: YouTube / X (Formerly Twitter) / Instagram / TikTok / Patreon

Allow me to continue. Out for breakfast. In a pub. The Premier League is scheduled to have multiple matches at the same time on all the feathered-bird channels and USA.

So I rushed to the bar at 9 am and reached for the remote.

OK. OK. I’ve been a bartender and I know the rules. And considering it was a 2024-25 match where both sides scored two goals in the first half.

Side note, I did not have prognosticatory info on this match, I’m sharing some info after the fact to paint the correct picture for you.

Let’s get back. I’m at the pub, at the bar, reaching for the remote when I was unpleasantly rebuffed. The bartender, who I adore because she’s never screwed up any of my drinks or meals in 32 months of visits, rejected the attempt.

She Wasn’t Smiling

“Don’t!” she said. “No soccer anymore.”

“What? Why? Huh?” I said.

She explained that the owner and the management team decided that soccer of any kind: Premier League, EFL, Bundesliga, World Cup, Champions League, and even the Olympics, was not to be on multiple televisions.

It turns out that during the Olympic soccer finals, two groups of ‘diners’ camped themselves for more than two hours. 90% of them ordered a drink when they arrived and about 40% of them ordered food.

The remainder of the people in the groups either didn’t order anything or asked for water. And when the first round of drinks and plates were cleared, that set of viewers/campers/distruptors went with water as well.

Water You Doing Right Now?

What would you do if you were in the group of supporters? I’d hope that as LFC supporters, each of us would politely point out that the bar wasn’t our couch and we should order some more than just water.

And if more food wasn’t on order – or someone was not eating or drinking for personal reasons – then I’d hope we Scousers would urge the two tables to stand in an unobtrusive spot so tables could be turned over.

What entitlement and unmitigated gall!

And I was wondering why more bars don’t cater to European football fans. Of course, we’re a little different and perhaps more dedicated to our sport than other fans.

These other fans also have lots of options to see baseball, NFL football, hockey, and auto racing multiple days of the week and hundreds of days a year. As LFC fans we get one match a week (MOSTLY) and it’s limited to the weekend (MOSTLY).

The Numbers Game

The majority of people going to a bar to watch sports are often content to watch PART of a game, too. Note the folks who only show up at 3:15 pm for a 1 pm NFL kickoff. Nobody is sitting around watching nine full innings of baseball in a bar (unless it’s a bachelor party).

There’s also some sort of bigger connection with a lot of ‘traditional’ sports fans. With EPL fans and supporters, we’re a bit on an island. We’re a little less geographically connected which makes it hard to jam a random pub with people.

So the owner had a point to be wary of new faces and was unfortunately proven right by those uncouth youths.

I did a little more research and found out that the folks who soiled my neighborhood pub aren’t even local. One group came in on a cruise ship and came off the water into town for a day. The other group was from a bit further north of me, still an hour’s drive to invade my space.

They had walked the area, looked in some shops, then remembered that the Olympic finals were on – and as my bad luck would have it – they picked that pub.

It Gets Worse

Recently I had a pal come to town and I gave him a tour of the city. We visited a few bars and then I got the chance to bring this friend to The Pub. As we walked there, we chatted about LFC Supporter Groups.

That developed into a loose plan for me to talk to my pub about becoming the location for an official LFC group. I was excited, we chatted some more, ate, drank, and looked around. The place was perfect, he said. This place IS PERFECT, I said.

We made excuses for the shortcomings. There was a lack of Peacock TV and no real wi-fi to speak of. Many tables had suboptimal sight lines to the handful of televisions. But it could work.

I started to put together a plan by reaching out to European football fans all over. (See my recent Ribbon Candy column linked earlier) I am in touch with many folks who play recreationally and support at least one side in the Premier League. Getting folks to come to a bar wouldn’t be a problem.

The Plan Abandoned

Alas and alack, this recent event completely sidetracked the plan. Dressed in my LFC finest – a Crown Paints kit from the 90s – and knowing that the USA had a match on, I strode down to the pub.

Smiling as I went through the door with some ideas for paying for Peacock and another TV; and a suggestion for making a soccer nook where about a dozen supporters could fit.

I’m not aiming for the stars. I just want a comfy place to eat, drink, and watch the Reds.

SHOP THE AMERICAN SCOUSER COLLECTION TODAY

My smile faded quickly, and you read the rest up above. I couldn’t offer up a proposition now. For 2024-25, I’m likely spending matches at home or at a different downtown bar. Which makes this a ridiculous balancing act of money and emotion.

As I sit here typing, I’m wearing a T-shirt with the pub’s name on it. It’s my location of choice for a quick drink or a snack. I’m friendly with the staff and owners. I even have some of my personal memorabilia hanging on their wall.

But I’m a creature of habit. I only visit three locations in town for a drink, one being the pub. Moving forward, if my soccer moments are now taken at one of the other bars, that’s going to rejigger my habits.

Their Bar, Their Rules

Will I think as fondly of the pub moving forward? Probably, but it still annoys me. I see the out-of-towners water fiasco as a one-time, bad-timing event. And I understand that locking up potential dining areas is bad business.

How should I take it? I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m a regular with a simple request, albeit only one person among hundreds. If it was a request to put on a soap opera, a surgery show, or a Disney movie, I get it. And as I say that, I fully understand.

I wish I had moved faster with my proposal to create a soccer bar here, and an LFC Supporters Club subsequently. I guess I’ve got to decide if I stay frustrated with the pub’s new policy, or if I can live with it and try to convince the bar to let soccer back in.

I’ll likely remain angry for a while and will explain my mood if they ask. Though it might be clear if I’m around a little less, or pop through the door in one of my two new shirts.

#YNWA

#eatlocal

#drinklocal